Friday, September 9, 2011

Monday, August 22, 2011

S.A.D


you said
why you r keep quiet, have nothing from you since 2 days ago.
you not really talk to me,
you keep silent
you never write me to say goodnight
you never write me to say hi, how are you.
you never ... is it very difficult for you to write me ?
its just need a minute, to do that,
why can't you do it ?
he asked me this all questions
it's seem like its my fault
he is asking me with his anger, upset, and he is angry too.
my brain is empty, my mind is messy.
but i'm not stupid
Did he know all this question is the same what in my mind for him too ?
why can't he do the same to me too ?
he even not really do that to me then why he has to angry with me
about i not doing that?
i'm confused...
confused and confused...
i'm okay but i'm just sad ....
if the relationship have to keep going like this
only me care about him 
i will choose to give up
i will
why its always my fault ?
am i that bad ??
i really don't know ....
i just sad
because i'm just like a toy for him .... 
a toy that just keep accompany him....
it's sad to know about it ....
but its okay .... because i'm used to it ...
i used to pretend ....its me !!!
Thanks ....

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

不明白,不明白
為甚麼我每次都會遇到這樣的問題?
我真的不明白

覺得自己根本就甚麼都不是
覺得有點累了
真的
我只是需要一段簡單的愛
不喜歡做比較
但是
我卻一直被做比較
感覺真的很不好受

也不知不覺中陷入了胡思亂想的狀態
覺得這樣的愛情
真的很累

我以為我甚麼都了解
我甚麼都能體諒
我甚麼都能當作不是一回事
但是我卻錯了

這樣的愛情
真的一點也不快樂

我很怕
真的
我很想逃
我很想就這樣的
一聲不響的離開

但是我卻做不到
好痛苦

我到底能怎樣?
我知道,
自己會這樣痛苦是因為
我把這段感情看得比任何東西都重要
我真的很討厭這樣的自己
為甚麼每次都是會有這樣的結果呢?

我反覆的想了好多遍
我還是甚麼都想不通
為甚麼對他來說我比任何東西都不重要呢?
為甚麼呢?
他可以記得其他人的每件事情,每個狀況
他可以記得回覆其他人的每個信件,每個訊息,每個電話
但是對於我卻甚麼都沒有呢?

我真的是那麼的不值得他為我這樣做嗎?
我真的有那麼糟糕嗎?
到底我算是甚麼??

我真的覺得我甚麼都不是,
我真的很想逃走
真的,
真的想逃

Sunday, August 7, 2011

that's it....

Jesus the same yesterday, today and forever but human are different, they keep changing and changing. ITS all about profit, authority, selfishness & ect. Then what about the principle, justice, modest and behavior?



Monday, July 18, 2011

笨蛋!!!



原來,從夢中驚醒是那麼的痛苦
原來,自己一直覺得對的,是自己一直欺騙自己
原來,我是做了一個美麗的夢
現在,夢沒了,被迫的從夢中走出來
才發現,原來自己一直都是個傻瓜。

既然是這樣,那麼當初為甚麼選擇這樣的路呢?
既然之前已經知道我是這樣,為甚麼卻還選擇要跟我在一起呢?
就是之前你都已經知道的,為甚麼呢?
為甚麼?
為甚麼?
為甚麼?
我真的不懂,真的不懂。
真的很懊惱!!!!!!

好討厭這樣的情緒被困擾,也很討厭他!!!!
讓我感覺自己真的甚麼都不是
甚麼都不對,甚麼都不好,
就是甚麼都是錯的,
而我卻覺得,
我們的開始根本就是錯的選擇,
不是嗎?
既然那麼多的不滿,
那麼就算了吧!
算了吧!!!





Wednesday, July 13, 2011

not feeling good



I can't understand
I can't understand
seem like i really can't understand
i hope i can help you
i hope i can be with you
but its just happen ....
happen that i'm not around you
when u need me ...
happe that i'm not with you
to give u a hug when u need me ...
i feel bad...
i feel bad...
i know you are not okay
i know i suppose to be there ...
but what can i do ?
what can i do ??
i feel bad
i feel bad
i really feel bad
im confused
and confused
confused that why this kind of feeling always inside me ....
why i facing this kind of problem all the time ??
why why and why ??
or i not really understand you ?
or i not really understand myself ?
oh....